Onegaishimasu Parents, and Students, You may have noticed recently we have really been pushing really hard with conditioning drills, and repetition of basics. While these are a necessary component of karate training, they do something far more powerful for our children. They help develop an attitude of hard work, perseverance and grit....which ultimately leads to discipline, but they also build something extremely valuable in our children.....MENTAL TOUGHNESS.
You may have also noticed there are specific words and phrases we use repeatedly at the dojo. After six months or more of being at Keiko dojo, your child would have said “TRY MY BEST!” or I NEVER GIVE UP or I NEVER DO EASY!! hundreds of times. This is not by accident.
While it may not seem like a big deal on the surface, one thing we have discovered is the “words” your child uses are powerful and life changing. The story we are constantly repeating will become what, and who we are. It will become our identity. One of the most powerful lessons we can teach our children is how they talk about themselves has a lot to do with what they will become! The best part......we can consciously decide what our personal story will be!! We are in control of our destiny.
The first step to ensuring we are aligning our identity properly….NOTICE ……We must be very careful, and as the book "The seven habits" suggests "Impeccable" with the words we choose and what we saying. First just become acutely aware of the words you and your child are using. Choose carefully, and just focus a little more. You might be amazed at what you hear. This will give you a very good indication of how your children perceive themselves and the world around them.
While you are at it, try to notice how you say it. Most of the time we find a young child will mirror much of what their parents say. Remember we, the parents, are the number 1 educators in our child’s lives. Parenting is the highest form of leadership. Your children are constantly watching and copying what you do!
The second step…..DECIDE……Once you are aware of the words you and your child use then just make a simple decision: “Are the words and how we talk inline with the identity we wish for ourselves? Or a proper reflection of who we want to be?” or “Do we need to change the words we use and how we talk about ourselves and the world/people around us a little?”
For instance, does the phrase “I can’t” come up often? Does the focus tend to be more on why something can’t be done or, is it more of an “I can do anything!!!!!”
Pay particular attention to how your child talks about school. Is it positive and looking forward to going to school? The phrase you simply cannot let a child say ever is “I hate school!” But you can't just suggest they don’t say it, negative phrases must be replaced with positive ones that employ an opposite mindset like: “I love school” or “I love learning!”
Here is a big one. How many of us know someone or have heard your child criticizing, complaining or blaming? Blaming is a big one because you give up control. You give your success or failure to someone or something else. If your child says “Well, I just don’t like the teachers!” or “I don’t like my teammates!” later it just turns into “I hate my boss!” and “I don’t like my co-workers!” They will start getting in the habit of finding a way to blame someone else for not succeeding and saying “It was not my fault!”
The last step is to ACT….. Consciously choose your words to suit your identity. Catch yourself every time when you are being self defeating or using phrases and words not conducive to your, or your child’s success.
So......What's your identity???
Have an Amazing Week!!
Keiko Karate – “Actually we do make Ninjas and Superheroes here………………we turn kids into Ninjas and we turn their parents